A Ritual For Grief

My brother Robert died unexpectedly in 2016. At some point on his birthday every year, my grief awakens like a startled scorpion under a rock and stings me. Grief doesn't play nice. A few years ago, I decided to reframe his birthday, which is September 9th, and to celebrate him properly. Now, my daughter and I bake a Bundt cake and my family sings to him. Sometimes, we even sing, "Happy Birthday, dead Robert. Happy Birthday to you." (Trust me, that would make him laugh.) We all blow out the candles and dig in. Celebrating our lost loved ones is as important as mourning them--or memorializing them. You can read more about my brother Robert here. And reach out if you want that Bundt cake recipe.

---